Day Four: Something you have to forgive someone for

Ooops?  Issok...only two people actually read this, eh? :)

I would say that I need to forgive my father for manipulating his own son.  I can down play the whole thing as it's just how he is, but it never ausages the anger.  He did have a very rough and brutal first few years before coming to live with and be adopted by Grandma and Grandpa Hoover.  And his mastery of manipulation was his defense mechanism.  What hurt so much was when it finally dawned on me about four years ago that he was manipulating me.  Sure the guilt trips were obvious...but my father is nothing if not subtle.  Obvious is when he thinks you aren't getting it.

So yeah, it's hard to come to grips with the fact that I was merely a pawn in his machinizations.  A piece moved when he needed it to be to cover another move or advance his agenda.  And it still hurts.  Letting that hurt go has been very difficult, made harder by the fact that he has always prided himself on how well he manipulates people.